thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
