And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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