This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
