We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
