this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
