Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
