Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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