That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
