I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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