Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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