Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
