Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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