you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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