fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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