if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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