Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I need to sanitize my soul.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
