What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
