there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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