If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
