so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
