Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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