I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she told me i tasted like america
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
