Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
