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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You might as well just give her the money now.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.

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• (530): View more from California

  FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.

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• (914): View more from New York

  It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.

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