She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
