Swine flu. Run for my life!
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
