i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
