You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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