I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
