All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
