I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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