OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
