Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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