in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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