We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
50% drunk capacity currently
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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