How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
