that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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