There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize