Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
