Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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