Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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