I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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