Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
