i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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