I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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