I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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