I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
