That's when you crack a 10am beer
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
