Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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