Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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