Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
