hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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