Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
