Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
