I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
