you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
