I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
