mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
