how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
