That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
