Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
